Cambodia, I think she likes me.

Mission log: We've been to both Phnom Penh and Siem Reap in Cambodia, and they feel similar yet different in equal measure.

PP is much bigger and 'opportunisty', where SR is the world's central hub of massage. We partook in a $1 for 15mins street massage. Left pleased, but not 'happy'.

Stomach issues start creeping in but food quality remains high, everywhere. Use of a cheap end-to-end laundry service has us feeling presentable again, at least until we 'shart'.
Ian's room woes continue with another visit to the Emphysema Suite, but no early morning wake up calls anymore.

Cambodia is definately the excursion leg of the trip. We booked on for quad biking, sailed to the floating village, visited museums and dispensed our Rickshaw vengence with an AK-47.
2 days were reserved for bigger and more important trips. Angkor Wat and The Killings Fields.

Walking around the grasslands, as humble as I can be, the echoes of the atrocities comitted by the Khmer Rouge almost bring me to my knees. Slaughter, torture and genocide of innocent people, innocent children. To hear a first hand account adds potency to the already viscous atmosphere. The S21 prison still had sharp barbed wire and blood on the floor. Thoughts and feelings never to be forgotten.

Angkor Wat was set to be a photography extravaganza! The largest religious monument in the world, other temples, the sunset...the Chinese. The smaller, more ruinous temples were more impressive, but equally filled with Orientals getting 400 pictures of every rock. Consequently pictures were seldom artistic.

Cambodia feels good. People are friendly and we have been targeted far less. Bars are more full with western and local people and SR felt really relaxed. There is a fair degree of begging however, and although you want to give to all, your money would never last, and shamefully, you become acustomed ignoring most.
Thailand beckons and brings with it our first beaches and a new experience. Mushroom Stroganoff...less the Stroganoff.

Much love

Vietnam, rinsed 3 times in 24hrs

Mission log: Temperature...high, manners...absent, teeth...presumed missing.

Each day temperatures reach 37°C and even more in Thiimy's jean shorts, but so far no burnt scalps or sore bits...only...clammy...balls.

The days see us dodge through the gaunlet of scammers. You have to wise up fast or learn the hard way, as we did. We were rinsed on 3 seperate occasions by the government, rickshaw drivers and the ATM.

We found sanctuary on an evening in our favourite bar's staff and an exceptional curry house (Baba's). Our meager portions during the day left us hungry for stoge later on.

The welcome continuation of shower shits (shwitz) at the hotel is the only way to mask the smell of smoke in the room and the sound of gobbing in the corridor.

Us being out in the jungle but also America's playground, excursions had to be taken. We visited and crawled the CuChi Vietcong tunnels which were very small, dark and had no consideration for wheelchair access and took a trip down the Mekong River...thankfully a restaurant and gift hut was only ever 10 feet away at all times?

The zoo was filled with animals, as expected, but we seemed to be the main attraction. Parents made sure their children got a glimpse, some even had to touch us to believe our awesomeness. This visit was a little distressing however. Some of the animals were in tiny cages and looked a little emaciated. People were freely throwing rubbish into the enclosures and fisting the glass of small scared animals and I'm pretty sure you could select which animal to eat in the canteen.

The term 'opportunists' no longer means prostitute to us, everyone taxi driver also offers a massage and marijuana. Happy ending unconfirmed.

We've only just passed the border to Cambodia and everyone seems pissed with us. This should be fun.

N.b. Being a clear foot taller than everyone is incredibly handy in crowded areas.

Hong Kong, the city of Congee

Mission Log: Our time in Hong Kong see's us celebrate Chinese New Year, with fireworks, horse racing and the Symphony of Lights.

The weather is varied but our spirits high from the lack of stomach upsets or street theft. The tube is an incredibley cheap and efficient way to get around but misses London nostalgia.

Hong Kong is certainly developed. There is very little traditional and everywhere feels very western. Everyone, young and old has smartphones and pads.

The army of prostitutes are unrelenting, but yet we stand resolute and plough through them...in a non-sexual way. We now refer to them as 'opportunists'.

Our room, like a shit vol au vant, is small and leaves a bad taste in your mouth. It could only be made worse by having to queue 20 mins for a slow moving single lift in the middle of Jihad HQ...which we did. Late night curries were excellent here. On positive note you could crap and shower at the same time.
I particularly like the grand names given to what are essentially car boot stalls with signs. E.g. Interglobal Asia Executive Trade Partners LTD...sold dildos.

I have enjoyed Hong Kong. People are helpful, the skyline mesmerising, buildings impressive and food varied.

Vietnam beckons and I just hope I don't get salmonella this time round.

Goodbye Macau, back to Hong Kong.

We three adventurers, we livers of life, we friends decided to trek the Orient and basque in it's wonder. This is a brief mission log.

Our first leg sees us take on Macau, the Asian Vegas. We have been told that Macau is whatever you make of it, and our experience involved jumping off a building, meeting a high-flyer from humble origins, a glimpse to the future and passing out.

We have yet been unable to get home before the sun starts to rise . As we wade through the prostitutes like adoring Justin Bieber fans, we search, search in vain for somebody to love us long time.

The casino's are vast and lavish, the ladyboys busty and masculine. It's fair say the majority of our money will be spent here, the expensives are cheap but the cheap are pricey....n.b. Not the ladyboys.

Food so far has been either really good or boul obstruction. Good fortune favours us as so far....no fudge puddles.

We went to Macau tower the night before to research our jump. It's height is simply.....fuck. First thing this morning we went and we conquered! We were unusually calm before hand, first customers of the day with locals for a crowd. One by one we strapped up and jumped. It was quite an experience. Freefalling for 5 seconds straight to the ground in a skyscraper arena.

If Macau has set the 'tone' for the rest of trip...we'll have few stories to tell when we get back.
We venture now back to Hong Kong.

What if...Sauron won and evil prevailed?

With The Hobbit nearing my unblinking eyes, I find myself wondering about the endeavours of evil…and to what end.

In fantasy stories, commonly, evil is personified as a malevolent slobbering beast, who’s sole intention is to eradicate the normal and good. I ask, what if they won? What do they do then?

I imagine a world such as Middle Earth, where the last free village might have been pillaged and it’s inhabitants possibly killed...evil, could, reign victorious.

No wars, no struggle or strife.  The orcs would be forced to a life of peace, settle down to a nice cave with an en-suite tar-pit and find an orcette to tend to their larvae, or whatever they have.  Social problems would have to be raised to your local member of the dark council, Saruman MDC, who in-turn quizzes the now gluttonous, lazy, hedonistic Sauron being fed grapes by his plethora of abhorrent concubines.

Before you know it, an orc cave has a well groomed warg for commuting, a discoloured picket fence and a swing in a garden littered with corpses and warg shit. Does this mean, the pursuits of evil are the same as that of good? To be left alone in peace.

In the East a faction of Men, rising up and fighting to re-claim defiled land, strike hard at settlements, destroying caves and slaughtering innocent orc squibs, and being generally very naughty indeed.

Which side is evil after all? Of course, the answer is obvious, but ending with a question just sounded good.